I remember when I was in elementary school and I used Internet Explorer. Now, I'm twenty years old and in live in a world that makes jokes about using Internet Explorer - I now use other search engines like Google Chrome or Firefox. I look back to my time as a middle school student and it was cool to have MySpace or Facebook. My sisters are in high school now and they don't want Facebook - they have Twitter and Instagram. The world I live in is growing smaller because of the Internet, and while I have advanced access to many resources, the Internet has only increased my awareness of myself.
It sounds conceited even as I type that out - I am the epitome of the "selfish generation." I would like to explain myself though, because I mean that statement in the most humble way possible.
I took a class this past call called Communication, Technology, and Society. One of our first assignments was to search through our own social media sides (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram) and "judge" our own selves based on our first impressions.
If someone didn't know me, they probably would think I am an incredibly classy, popular, girly girl. My most recent photos are on a dinner date I went to with some girl friends, several different weddings I attended, and then some cute pictures of adventures I went on with my boyfriend.
Those who really know me would say that I am known to wear basketball shorts, half-calf socks with my Birkenstock sandals, and a tank top that I cute myself with my curly hair thrown into a bun on top of my head. I have been a student-athlete my entire life - volleyball, basketball, track, and cross country. The only reason I own makeup is because my cosmetologist cousin bought it for me - this happened three years ago and I haven't bought any new products since!
I'm a Journalism/Media Communications major and due to the pressure I felt to become a good writer, and my own somewhat desperation to have other people hear my voice, I started a blog this past summer. I won't brag about my numerous followers because its still mainly family who reads what I have to say, but nonetheless, I'm writing where the whole world can see if they really want.
Now, how does this show that the Internet has made me more aware of myself? First, the Internet has made me aware that, in a weird way, I live a very fake life - as do many other people in this world! Unless they live with me, no one sees my morning bed head or that I wore the same pair of shorts three days in a row. I strive to be authentic towards the people around me, but instead my followers see the finished ceramics products that I'm showing off on Instagram, but never get a glimpse of the hundreds of flopped bowls I produced before that.
Second, the Internet has made me aware that my words are here to stay. Anything I post on the Internet - pictures, statuses, and tweets - all of that will forever be on the Internet and there's no going back. I can delete items, yes, but the Internet has this disturbing way, that I don't know how to intelligently explain, of resurfacing things you hope will disappear forever.
Lastly, the Internet is making me aware of the power I do have - in a good way! The Internet has given me the opportunity to share my voice. I have the opportunity to post on my blog, use Pinterest to discover new projects I want to tackle this summer, and of course do more important endeavors like research for my current exegetical paper. I believe, just like I believe this about most things in life, that there is a good and bad side to the Internet - the trick is to find balance!
In realizing this, the Internet has made me more aware of myself; for better and for worse, I am learning who I am, who I don't want to be, and who I want to strive to be more like.
-Courage, dear heart. C.S. Lewis
Lexi
